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ramblings
December 2007 
What does "Friend" mean to you?
Lobster John
Friend
What does that mean? Recent events in my life have thrust me into evaluating what the word means to me. I've had few friends in my life. Don't get me wrong... I'm a very social person. But what I think of when I use the term friend is different than that of, say, a friendly acquaintance. I believe that friendly acquaintances are those who litter our lives with phrases like, "How are you today?" and "Lovely weather we are having, isn't it?" They are nice to be around and serve a social function. However, they aren't true friends. True friends are rare... But what is a true friend.
I think a friend should honor you, as you should them. I think a friend should have your back, even when you aren't looking and would never know. I think a friend should know your strengths and weaknesses and help you when one or the other becomes out of balance. I think a friend should be there when you fuck up big time. And, without making excuses for you or helping you point the finger in different directions, help you through it. Someone who you would gladly offer the last beer in your fridge to, because you know he/she would do the same.
My ex-wife is the kind of person who is everyone's friend. I am not. I am a friendly acquaintance to everyone I meet, a social person, but I have few people that are close to me. Recently, maybe one less. I could count them on one hand and still have fingers left. So I'm trying to figure that out... what is it about that particular relationship that is so elusive to me.
Maybe it's my definition of friendship, maybe I expect too much. Maybe I should lower the bar and just consider friendship to be loose relationships that require no effort. People who will accept me, so long as I fit into their box. Or, maybe I already have.
I would like to know...
What does friendship mean to you?
John
Access: Public
John,
I can feel you. And I can relate to what you are thinking, feeling and going through very well.
Frienship like love is hard to define and means different things to each one of us. Despite all the setbacks, betrayals and dissapointments we get through the years we still believe in it and believe in the power and beauty of friendship like the possibility for unconditional love. So yes I believe in it. Have I been the perfect real friend that I could have been always and to many - I doubt it, but I aspire to be one with every other new relationship. We also have to realize that some friends are in our lives for a reason, others for a season and still few others for a lifetime… Accepting that and not forcing ourselves neither to be friend with everyone nor have no one for a lifetime is probably one way to see it.
I also think that some of our best friends come from the animal kingdom, esp. dogs.
And here's a poem from an anonymous author that I found and I wanted to share with you.
Hope this helps a little in restoring your hope and belief in freinds… :)
Darina
Simple vs. Real Friend
Anyone can stand by you when you are right.
But a friend will stand by you even when you are wrong.
A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn’t have to.
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his/her life
A real friend says, “What’s new with you?”
A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent
A real friend says, You’ve been whining about this for years. !?&$*#!! Do smth about it!
A simple friend has never seen you cry
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears
A simple friend doesn’t know your parents’ names
A real friend has their phone numbers in her address book
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party
A real friend comes early to help and stays late to help you clean
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history
A real friend could blackmail you with it
A simple friend when visiting acts like a guest
A real friend opens your fridge and helps herself
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument
A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them
A real friend expects to always be there for you!